Image courtesy of foundphotoslj.
How can teen mothers best be helped?
(I’m not talking about preventing youth pregnancy–that’s a whole other ball of wax. But rather, after they’ve already embarked on the journey of raising a baby as a teen.)
Image courtesy of foundphotoslj.
How can teen mothers best be helped?
(I’m not talking about preventing youth pregnancy–that’s a whole other ball of wax. But rather, after they’ve already embarked on the journey of raising a baby as a teen.)
August 8, 2007 at 16:16
De-stigmatize.
So many teen mothers simply have to deal with the fact that people treat them like criminals…like just because they had a child at age 16 they are 100% unreliable and irresponsible. Most of these women (I’m sorry, but once you’ve pushed someone into life you are a woman, no matter how many candles you put on your birthday cake) are forced into what our society would consider “early adulthood” and often fail to get there fully prepared.
Our culture is simply not natural; pregnancy at 14 or 15 IS natural, whether we like it or not. I think what would help teen mothers the most is what would help thousands of other ill-prepared young adults: stop shielding “kids” from reality and he responsibilities that lie ahead for them. Well prepared for the realities of parenthood and adulthood, these women can thrive.
(ramble ramble…is it dinnertime yet?)
August 8, 2007 at 16:20
I think it’s necessary to first examine what type of help they need. And who should help them. And why. And for how long. And where the resources will come from.
Our desire in helping, as it should be with all humanitarian undertakings, shouldn’t be “how do we help them?”, but rather “how do we help them help themselves?”.
Our welfare state has resulted in a society of irresponsible indolents. Our foreign aid has resulted in widespread corruption in third world governments. Our foreign intervention to “spread democracy” has resulted in millions of deaths, destroyed infrastructures, occupied nations, and widespread resentment towards Americans.
And so, we must figure out how best we can help others help themselves. If there’s one thing that I learned from my recent stint in Africa, it’s that the local people know better how to solve their own problems than we do. We should be slow to solve, quick to listen. We should figure out from the individuals what they think would help them, and then see where we can assist.
And so, with teen mothers, instead of central planning and statistics and surveys, we should listen to them, see what their desires and hopes are, find out what troubles them, and then ask them what we can do to help.
There is no single solution that will be the band-aid for all teen mothers. Each mother will be facing different situations in life, and so we should let them brainstorm a solution before we offer to “help”.
August 8, 2007 at 22:33
Help them build a support network of first family, then close friends. Give them the love and respect that they deserve. Assist in lining up new mom classes and give helpful tips on children (if you already have experience of your own).
August 9, 2007 at 01:01
In whatever solution is developed, great care and attention should be focused on allowing the young woman to continue her education. If this means having day care facilities at high schools, then so be it. Education is the road out of poverty, and without education, the mistakes of the previous generation are more likely to be repeated.
Also contained in the solution should be ensuring the accountability of the father of the child, through child support payments, wage garnishing, etc. I appreciate the pragmatic phrasing of this question, as it has forced me to think on practical terms. Morals aside on if teen pregnancy is good or not, it is good to admit that A- there are many teen mothers B- they need help, and C- how do we give it to them?
And somehow, this should all be done without the government turning in to a giant nanny. I suppose that opinions will vary widely concerning the amount that the government has the right to intervene in one’s life, but that is another question entirely.
August 9, 2007 at 08:04
Focusing on helping teen mothers is obviously important but much more urgent is helping others to not become themselves teen mothers. The former alone is something like putting a bandage on a cut when there is massive internal bleeding; it doesn’t help much.
In the U.S., 68% of all births to African American women are to single mothers (U.S. Census, 2001).
Why is that? I think it’s the breakup of the family spurred on by an uncaring media. How many positive examples of family do young black people see? Television and movies depict successful black people as either athletes and musicians, both of which are (generally) very poor role models. A quick flip to MTV, BET or VH1 will likely show a pimped-out black man singing about his wealth all the while surrounded by crowds of adoring, barely-clothed women. What effect does this have on an impoverished black child?
That said, once the deed is done, 1-support, 2-education/life skills and 3-environment change are essential.